New parents. We watch baby’s every move. We squeal with glee when baby first smiles, first claps hands and takes their first steps. But how much do we share with our other new parent friends???
It’s a tricky one. Although a first time parent might think that sharing every little milestone – from the first actually-brown-coloured-solid poop to clever little one reciting the alphabet – might be something that friends (with kids & without) want to squeal along with you about. They don’t. I hate to say it, and it took me some time to figure this out.
Let’s face it, it’s boring to those without direct genetic lineage. Then it’s the comparing that brings the bad vibes. We say we don’t, but it’s a natural and normal thing us humans do. Unfortunately it can really bring a new parent down. Does my little 10 month old clap hands like Sally’s at playgroup? Will she recite the alphabet by 2 years old like little Jenny? Or be reading chapter books by age 6? Yikes! Where does it end?
But you are proud of your little cherub and just want to share it with the world?! Go ahead… but choose your victim wisely. The friend who has a baby around the same age is probably not your best choice, unless you are kindred spirits… actually, there will still be some bad vibes, albeit secret. Depending on whose kid is progressing faster, someone will feel shite. And it might be you. Share the interesting stuff without dragging someone down, regular conversational stuff that might be part of some advice swapping/whinge bingeing conversation, gauge your crew and be honest, cos’ it aint all roses and sunshine now, is it?
And what is your purpose of gloating? Does it make you feel better? Do you want to publicise the fact that your playgroup mum friend’s kids isn’t up to scratch? Are you just happy? I’m reminded of this quote by Maya Angelou (from http://www.azquotes.com/quote/1458053)…
Tell your parents, they get what it’s like to be a parent. How about your grand parents? If you are lucky enough to have these people in your life, dump all your giddy parental gloating on them. And they’re probably the only ones who’ll give a crap!
Be grateful you have a beautiful little pooping, screaming, giggling, counting, reading, loving and whatever-else-they-will-accomplish little person who looks to you for survival. Cherish those milestones, as they are but fleeting moments in the soap opera of life.
And I hope my beautiful friends forgive my prior (and surely future) gloats, I’ve struggled with self-confidence my whole life and I was probably just trying to make myself feel like I was achieving something through my babies. The fact you have let me continue as your friend makes you superhuman (or nuts!)! Legends xo